113. Bring Back Dry Humping with Samia

Samia is the owner Sexual Essentials, and is a Hands in Sexual Educator who specializes in helping people create the sex life that they truly desire. She has over 230 classes teaching about perfecting and creating your best orgasms! She teaches the real stuff that we need to know more about. 
She knew she needed to create a platform after noticing that there was clearly a disconnect between romantic relationships and sex. She noticed everyone is saying the same shit, but she needed to bridge it all together. She was tired of people tiptoeing around the subject like it was a curse word. If you’re not going to explain it fully, people are not going to understand. Pleasure has been missed completely and she was just sick and tired of it. She decided ‘fuck it, I’ll do it’.

In my work I’m often trying to get couples back to that early stage of their relationship because for so many of us that’s what we're longing for. If you think back to your middle or high school days, dry humping was a thing, it was fun and exciting! Why is it when we get to be adults, dry humping has become looked at as being childish?
These days with sex we’re so prone to going straight to the point. Possibly because we don’t ever have enough time to properly have sex nor has it been drilled in our head how much time we really should be taking. Or when we do have the time people might not know how to fill those gaps. We’re not in tune with ourselves enough to know what we want and how to get it. 

The cheat code is really understanding that sex doesn’t start with penetration, if you can make sure you’re satisfied before the penetration even starts, you’re gonna be good. We should know that the stuff that happens before, the foreplay, the kissing, the dry humping, and oral sex is the sex. 

Everything that you want in partner sex should be present in solo sex. If you’re complaining about only doing one thing during sex or not changing it up, you should also be looking at how you’re masturbating, and when’s the last time you did something different for your self? If you haven’t experienced a difference from yourself, maybe we shouldn't be judging a partner for doing the same thing. If you’re not comfortable doing it alone, what makes you think you’re going to be more comfortable doing it with someone else?

Dry humping can be so many different things if you think of it just as genitals not inserting inside each other. It doesn’t have to be just having on your clothes and humping each other like teenagers. Add in a bit of a different texture, like the feel of the penis head on the clitoris can be amazing, or the feel of the fingers or tongue or just different skin on skin textures. Try experimenting with dry humping see what all you can do before penetrative sex happens. 

If you are thinking something like “Well I just don’t like it”, as much as we are entitled to our own preferences, dig into it. Figure out why you don’t want your body touching another person’s body. Try to find a way to like it.
If you’re looking for a way to start, try just kissing and teasing with clothes on, try making it a game, say ‘I bet you can’t make it 30 minutes with us doing this without taking your clothes off. Whoever takes their clothes off first has to wash the dishes. It’s really time to dig into it and fix our sex lives. It’s not going to happen from being quiet and sending out rays of thoughts, you’re going to have to open that mouth. 

Connect with Samia!
Instagram: @sexualessentials
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