124. The Threesome Playbook with Erin Kaley

I’m so pumped to have Erin on today to talk all things threesomes! Whether you're non-monogamous or have more flexible monogam-ish boundaries, threesomes can be a great thing to throw into your relationship.

How did she bring up having a threesome with her current partner?
They were already getting into the non-monogamous lifestyle. About a year into their relationship, they had already participated in group sex together, but wanted to have sex together and bring in another woman.
They had already had the conversations about what they want, and don’t want, and boundaries with everything, which made everything so much easier in the moment.

What are the biggest fears going into this?
When talking about bringing anyone into your relationship, there’s a fear that whoever you’re bringing in is going to be better than you. But when you flip that, you’re going to learn what that person is doing and you can add it to your own bag of tricks.
Another fear could be what if your partner falls in love with them and starts talking or seeing them behind your back. But what that really comes down to is insecurity in your relationship.  If you don’t trust your partner, this isn’t going to be a fun experience for you.

Is it better to have threesomes with someone you know or don’t know already?
In general, probably someone you don’t know. When you bring in friends, there’s so much added into the mix and it can feel much less safe. Especially if you’re worried about what’s going to happen afterwards, when the threesome ends, a friend is still going to be in your life, but a stranger might not be.

Erin’s Threesome Playbook
It is something she is so proud of, something she’s put so much love and effort into. It really was born out of having so many conversations about threesomes with friends and clients alike. She realized so many people are afraid of threesomes, and she wanted them to have a positive experience so she created the hotter than hot Threesome Playbook.

What all is included in the guide and how does it help?
Your Curious Intention - Getting clear on what your intention is.
Limited Beliefs & Showstoppers - Getting clear and honest with yourself about what you’re afraid of?
Your HOT Threesome Vision - The last part you’ll do solo. Getting clear on what this vision looks like for you and what you want to get out of it.
Pillow Talk Play By Play - You collaborate with your partner and share your findings from the previous sections.
Sexy Boundaries - Bringing up what you heard your partner say from the previous section that you don’t feel safe with, and vice versa.
The Play Agreement - Helps you negotiate how to pause, take a break, or end it completely. An agreed upon contract, but in a very fun and light way
Post-Play Recap - You have this amazing experience, the conversation you have after is so important. Talk about what you like and didn’t like, and allow yourself to end on a positive note.

Make things fun, have the conversation. Maybe you’ll find out that the role play and the amazing connected sex you have after your role play is enough. It doesn’t mean you have a boring sex life, your relationship is your own. You design your own relationship, this is just one of the things you can throw into your relationship to add in some novelty.

Resources
How to Create The Sex Life You Both Cr