Owning Your Sexual Self

144. How to Pick a Sex Toy

December 05, 2022 Rachel Maine
Owning Your Sexual Self
144. How to Pick a Sex Toy
Show Notes

This episode is sparked from all the questions I get from people. Whether it’s at the parties I do, my DMs or just people I meet out and about.

How to pick a sex toy? How do I even know where to start?

I’ve been in the “sex toy slinging” industry for over 8 years now, the top selling category of toys that I have is clitoral toys. Over 85% of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, so only about 20% of women are going to orgasm from vaginal penetration.

So when you’re thinking about what kind of sex toy you want to being in the bedroom, ask yourself “how to I experience pleasure?”
If you don’t yet have the answer to that question, I’m going to encourage you to explore with yourself first with your hands instead of jumping right to a toy.
Really spend some time with yourself, spend time before hand even to get yourself in that erotic mindset. Set the mood, play a sexy playlist, or listen to some erotica, maybe you want to watch porn, just do what gets you in that pleasure space.

If you’ve done some exploring and you’re enjoying that clitoral stimulation, or if you’ve had an orgasm before and you know it came from clitoral stimulation, you’re going to want to start with a clitoral toy. If you’re doing this pleasure play and you go for some vaginal stimulation, you insert a finger or two, and you’re feeling around there, how does that feel? How does it feel when you’re making a come here motion inside and stimulating your g-spot?
I want you to do this exploration first so that you don’t end up buying toys that just don’t end up making you feel good.
If you’re new to this area, I don’t want you going out there and buying the biggest, baddest, most bells and whistles type of toy. That’s probably not the best start for you. I’m going to recommend something like a bullet, or a wand, that are for external play. I’m more of a fan of wand type toys because they’re so versatile. I also recommend something that is USB rechargeable. Once you've had some experience with toys then you can try some of the ones that suck and blow and spin a thrust. I wouldn't really start with those toys.

Ask yourself, how do you want to use the toy?
Are you wanting to only use it for solo play or with a partner? If you're wanting to use it with a partner, are you wanting to use it just during foreplay, or during foreplay and sex?
If you're wanting one for all of the above, again I'm going to recommend a wand, because they're really a great toy in the bedroom with partner play to be able to add clitoral stimulation during the positions where you're not getting clitoral stimulation. C-rings are also great for partner play. They're a win win for both people.

If you're not achieving an orgasm during sex, it could mean that you're not getting any clitoral stimulation or not getting the stimulation that it needs. So adding wands or c-rings to your partner play is going to be the best bet to get to the orgasm that you're so likely craving.

My challenge to you is to go out and get a new toy, treat yourself!  

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