Hello, hello! Super excited to have Jennifer Ruskin on today to talk about opening relationships!
Jennifer is a momma, partner, multi-million dollar revenue generator, podcast host, and sex & relationship coach. The three pillars that she really focuses on are opening a relationship,which can get hella difficult and have a lot of hard conversations, but it is possible. The second thing is online dating because that's freaking tough, but it doesn't have to be. Then the third thing is consciously uncoupling. She has successfully, consciously uncoupled multiple times and has this amazing big family unit of exes and her current partner that help raise her kids, so very untraditional.
“I just kind of like walked into adulthood like here I am different and fully embracing it.”
How did Jennifer find herself in an open relationship?
About a year ago, she had this veil where she was saying to everyone, “ I have the most amazing partner, which I still believe is true, we have a great marriage, and our sex life is fantastic” but that last part was the lie. She was telling herself it was fantastic because she was getting the sex quantity that I was wanting, but it wasn't getting the quality that she was wanting.
Her sex life was very, very, traditional and she was with a very, very, very traditional person, which is perfect, just not for her. And so what she realized as this veil fell and she finally heard what her friends were saying, like, it's not normal what she was experiencing.
The real catalyst for this is when old friend came back and slid into her facebook DMs, and sizzling started happening. They started having conversations and she let her husband know this person was back in her life and like there's some flirting happening that may not be fully appropriate.And he was like I don't care, I don't want to know.
So they started doing like sexy erotic writing back and forth. We had this thing that we had already experienced and so we would like right what's the next level like if we see each other again, what would we do? And so we started this kind of back and forth sexting. So that started her list of things she wants experience. "That feeling of having someone crave you again was really what I desired. And so that started my list."
A big fear for people is that my husband or my partner would fall in love with this person or love what they're doing more than what I'm doing. How do you get over the feeling or how do you not allow your partner to fall in love?
The answer to that is that you can't, the answer to that is that you are only responsible for yourself and your partner is responsible for themselves. The answer to that is we don't own our partners. And when you go through this process of opening, you quickly learn you're not in control of anyone, not even your partner and it's really unhealthy to try to control them anyway. So if you are thinking about heading into the lifestyle, it's really, really, really important to have a good foundation in your relationship already where you have deep love and deep trust and deep respect.
How do you know if opening up your relationship is for you?
If you're interested in it, it's for you. If it's a hell no, then it's a hell no.
If it's a hell no, you've already shut off the podcast. If you're still listening and it sounds really interesting to you, then it's something to get curious about and started exploring.
Connect with Jen!
Instagram & Youtube: @JenniferKayloRuscinPodcast
Connect with Rachel!
Facebook: Rachel Maine