In this episode, I am joined by Irene Fehr to discuss how to avoid a sexless marriage, a topic that is so often brought up as being the "norm". Irene has been a sex & intimacy coach for the last 8 years and has helped hundreds of women and couples find sexual satisfaction.
Libido is a person's overall sexual drive or desire for sexual activity. Painful sex & lost libido are two popular things that lead to a sexless marriage.
Take a moment during this episode to ask yourself- Have you lost your desire?
Are you having "friction sex"?
In the beginning of a relationship, the couple can't keep their hands off each other, everything is new and exciting. Over time, the same kind of sex becomes boring. For example, one partner wants more variety but is scared to bring up her wants, so they hold back. In friction sex, you're only hurting yourself by not having your needs met. In this type of sex, talking about your wants can be scary.
When you start to fall in love with someone you become attached, you experience a new passion but with that comes the fear of abandonment or fear of failure. What do we do when we're scared? We tend to play it safe; we don't ask for what we need. When we don't show up vulnerably which leads to a loss of connection. So how do we avoid this?
Irene's Tips:
- Connect verbally. Speak about your needs and desires often- what is or is not working in the relationship?
- Connect sexually and non-sexual (sacred spaces)
- Take risks! Learn to be vulnerable and you will benefit greatly with connection through emotion
- Assume your partner wants to please you as much as you want to please them
Repeat after me
"I AM WORTH IT, I DESERVE FOR MY NEEDS TO BE MET".
Connective sex is not just a way of having sex it is a way of life. Having your needs met is fundamental. Connective sex is a disciplined approach to creating intimacy.
Remember...
Being vulnerable and having fun sets your relationship up for the long term! You can work through any problem and overcome any obstacle in a vulnerable way with your partner!
Connect with Irene Fehr!
Instagram: Ignitedwoman
Website: https://www.irenefehr.com/
Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Facebook Group: Owning Your Sexual Self
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com
Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com