81. What is Sexual Confidence

Feeling inspired by my interview with @my_wonderwoman on Instagram, I thought it was about time I made a whole episode about sexual confidence. So this week I’m talking about what it is, how to get it, what can affect it, and how to change those things.

What is sexual confidence?
When it comes to sexual confidence, just as everybody’s journey looks different; sexual confidence is going to mean something different for every person. Sexual confidence for one person may not be the same for other people around them. When you’re feeling like you’re doing something really good, the last thing you want to go and do is compare yourself to someone else. Celebrate where YOU’RE at right now. 

Sexual confidence is a FUCKING MOOD, it is a VIBE, it is the way that YOU carry YOURSELF throughout life.

What can you do to develop more sexual confidence in your life?
Master your own body, know what makes you tick and what turns you on or off.
Get comfortable speaking freely about your deep desires, wants, and needs and lay out the direction manual to your pleasure for your partner.
Tap into your emotions, peel back the layers and figure out where an emotion is coming from, what belief is it tied to, and what is triggering you to think or feel a certain way.
Validate your partner to do the same thing, your relationship is only going to flourish if both of you are confident in and out of the bedroom.

What can affect your sexual confidence?
Your first experience learning about sex, or things around sex like masturbation can play a huge role in your adult life when it comes to sexuality.
How did your parents react when seeing something sex related on TV? How were or are the people around you talking about it on social media?
Religion can play a huge part in your level of sexual confidence. 
Previous relationships.
Trauma.
How you feel and how you talk to yourself.

How can I change how these things affect me?
Journal your beliefs and feeling around sexuality and masturbation (self pleasure)
Start with these prompts, get as specific as you can, and go into as much detail as you can remember.
What do you remember about the time when you first learned about sex?
What do you remember about the time when you first learned about masturbation?
Dissect what you’ve written and think about your current sexual confidence, and your current beliefs about sex and sexuality and pin point where those likely came from in your past. 
Change the script for yourself, catch your negative language about yourself. Decide that you are someone who wants to have more sexual confidence and someone who wants to be deemed and seen as somebody who is sexually confident.

At the end of the day it’s about how you fucking feel. If you feel that you are a sexually confident person, that's all that fucking matters.