Owning Your Sexual Self

87. Birthday Sex!

October 18, 2021 Rachel Maine
Owning Your Sexual Self
87. Birthday Sex!
Show Notes

It’s the best day of the year, my birthday! So obviously we’re talking about birthday sex!
Birthday sex is a mood, it’s a vibe, and something so many people look forward to. But I’m here to tell you birthday sex doesn’t just have happen on your birthday, and how to make it happen all year round.
There’s a saying I’ve heard before about blowjobs or other fun, fancy things that they're going to go sexually with their partner only happen on the ABC days, which stands for anniversaries, birthdays, or Christmas/coach purses (if you don’t celebrate Christmas). I just feel like there’s so many things you can do throughout the year on non-special days that you can get this birthday sex type vibe into your life. 

I want to share how to incorporate this birthday sex like feeling into your everyday life.
It really does come down to having that connection with yourself and having that connection with your partner. Being able to communicate with each other and share with each other what those wants and needs are.

3 Minute Game - it’s such a great tool for couples that are looking for a more intentional deeper connection with each other. You’re going into this sexual experience with intentions, you have intentions for how you want it to look, how you want it to feel, and specifically how you want it to feel after it’s over. 
All you need is 12 minutes total that you can carve out for that very deep connected intimacy with each other. Once you start engaging in these 12 minutes, I’m going to bet that some curiosity starts to happen, pleasure starts to set in, some reactive desire starts to set in, or some sensations start to set in. When you take that time, that 12 minutes and fall into that connection with each other, that 12 minutes tends to last just a little bit longer.
You and your partner will be sitting down in a quiet setting,  and you start by asking your partner “How would you like me to touch you?” then you’re going to set a timer for 3 minutes and give that touch, give that thing to your partner exactly the way they asked for it, so you’re going to want to use your details here. Then you will ask “How would you like to touch me?” and do the same. Then it’s your partner’s turn to ask the questions.
Each partner is asking those same two questions to each other and you’re getting that perspective, that touch that experience, you’re able to share with your partner exactly what it is that you want and need in that moment, and they have the opportunity to do the same.

Here’s what I think happens with birthday sex.
It’s obviously somebody’s birthday, so they’re getting all the attention on them. Which is probably why so many people look forward to birthday sex. As humans we like to be taken care of, we like to receive the things that we want, so when it’s your birthday, so often that might be the only opportunity that someone is actually asking you exactly what you want. “How is it that you want to celebrate your birthday, what do you want your birthday sex to look like?“
So when you can incorporate more birthday sex type moments and experiences into your life, you’re getting your needs and wants met on a more regular basis.
That doesn’t mean that when actual birthday or anniversary sex happens it’s going to be less exciting, because here’s what else happens, as you start to engage in more sexual encounters, and more deeper connections on a regular basis, your horizons will be expanding, you’re experiencing pleasure on a more frequent level and that is only going to open your mind up to wanting to try new things, to wanting to get that pleasure more and more often. 

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