95. Strengthening Connection with Love Languages

This episode is inspired by someone who reached out to me on social media. We’re talking about something I can’t believe I haven’t already done an episode on, the 5 love languages. Love languages are basically how you want to receive love from your partner, and also how you give love. If all you want is to be held, or be cuddling, or a back rub, maybe your love language is physical touch. If your partner is constantly gift giving, it might not feel as meaningful because that’s not how you’re designed to be loved, or how you feel the most loved. 

The average person in the world is only having sex 4-6 times a month, you don’t want to only feel loved 4-6 times a month. You want to feel all of the time, most of the time. Taking the love language quiz with your partner can really strengthen your connection and create a more powerful experience in your relationship.

What are the 5 love languages?
Words of Affirmation - Verbal acknowledgements of affection.  Examples : lots of ‘I love you”s and compliments words of appreciation,  and verbal encouragement. They love to get texts throughout the day, especially when it comes out of nowhere. 

Quality Time - Feel most loved and adored when their partner wants to spend time with them.  Examples: active listening, eye contact, undivided attention, no distractions,  and 100% quality time. 

Acts of Service - Value your partner when they make your life easier. Examples:  bringing soup when you’re sick, making a cup of coffee in the morning, picking up the dry cleaning, especially if they have a busy day, picking up around the house, making sure the kids are taken care of, and taking care of dinner. For people who believe that actions speak louder than words.

Gifts - You feel love when people give to you. This is a visual symbol of love. It’s not about the monetary value, it is about the symbolic thought behind the gift. 

Physical Touch - Feel loved when they receive physical signs of affection. Examples: Kissing, hand holding, cuddling on the couch, and sex. Can be traced back to childhood, some people only felt deep love and affection from their parents when they were held, kissed, or touched.

In general people are going to have one of these be their priority, although, most people will have and feel love a little bit from each of the 5 categories. Often times if our partners don’t know our love language, or are doing something that doesn’t necessarily align with our love language it’s just not as effective. So, for couples that are really trying to establish more intimacy in their lives, really knowing the love language and loving based on that is really a game changer.

Gift Ideas
For a words of affirmations person -  Create something, like a poster, that has all the words of affirmation from their favorite book, movie, or podcast.
For a quality time person - Plan a staycation with them. This doesn't have to be an extravagant thing, get some take out, play a game.
For a physical touch person - Get them a personalized blanket or pillow, something that when you are engaging in the physical touch, you can wrap up in it.
For a gifts person - Customized gifts, customize anything.
For an acts of service person - A meal prep plan, or maybe even get them an oil change

Resources:
Love Language Quiz
Languages Explained